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in fairness, g.pressure ko pghimu ani..hala cge go..
here it is.. i may or may not revise this..
there are still lots of lined-up installments for this one..
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There i was….
Still, here i am…

in a strategic location
where i alone can watch him pass by
and seeing him just once a day is enough

if this is a basketball game,
he earns points everytime he passes by
i catch him sometimes looking my way
oh, how i wish that he was really looking for me
and only me

but the irony of things!
when he’s near,
i run away
he looks at me,
i look away
he “tries” talks to me
and i “try” not to blush
and make a fool out of myself….

he keeps me from being late
for i wake up early just to be the first one to see him
am i really nuts? hahaha
i don’t want him to know i like him
i still have my sense of propriety and traditionality in a way

i thought i will be content by the sidelines
or am i really?
but everytime he passes by
my yearning for him just grows stronger

yearning to know him better
so that i can tell myself if all the time and feelings i have invested are valid
that i am feeling all of these for a reason
that i endulge myself in little treats like glimpses of him
that i am hoping that i will be his someone special someday..

i can’t believe myself!
this is not me..
it was just a simple encounter
yet it amounted to this….

crazy
unexplainable
but it feels so good and right

… as of the moment…

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my friend’s persistent.. so i had to post this one..
in all my boredom (docs are ok, but boring to a point..ehhee), i just doodled on this one
friend, enjoy..ehehe…
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in a space where i sit by myself,
lost in my own world…
secluded by all the noise and all of humankind…
kind of exaggerated huh?
but that’s how it was.. at least, to me
i did my own thing and so did  the people around me
all these times, i wasn’t bothered by passers by..
people can just pass by me without me turning my head to give them a look
or acknowledging that “yes, i noticed you passing by me”..

being the independent and sometimes indifferent person that i am..
my days just went by so uneventfully ..
out with friends for some coffee..
or just going home early to catch some needed sleep or go online..
nothing special..

but you see, one day, one game surprised me and took my breathe away..
someone got my attention and later on my heart…

ten pumped up males all geared up..
then the ball bounces on the floor and back into their skillful hands..
feet on rubber soles skid across the room trying to get to the hoop..
hard-earned sweat trickles on faces hoping to win
trying to gain ahead of the opponent..

oh, he was just one among the many of them…
i knew him by name..
i knew he was admired by some of the most wanted females…
even so, i looked at all of them, enjoying the battle of speed and skill..
trying hard with my uncooperative eyesight to see the highlights..

and all of a sudden.. my eyes of poor sight zeroed in on him…
how it happened, i didn’t know…it just did..
he was not a poor player..
nor was he the most valuable player…
and yet..
and yet..
he then became the only defender.. the only attacker..in my eyes
anywhere in the court, i see him even when he’s not holding the ball..
the realization hit me like i was being dunked in the ring
my logical mind tried to analyze the why, the how..
yet my mind can’t come up with answers
my heart chose right there and then to like him
it was just a little silly admiration..
or so i thought

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dedicated to my friend ..  i’ve already asked permission so this entry is legit..ehehe
hopefully, she’ll enjoy reading this..ehhee..
this is the beginning and i’ll see how i’ll get through to continuing and finishing this little dedication..
here you go…….
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“how did he do it?
how did he suddenly get my prized attention that even the guys that obviously liked me didn’t get?

how come he’s just passing by?
how come i’m doomed as an onlooker?

i’m hooked
i’m paralyzed in my seat
i’m affected by all the little things that he did without him knowing..
i could only let my eyes stare at him
i’m feeling pathetic
wondering if he will ever notice me..

he knows my name
i know his name
but he doesn’t know me
and i don’t know him
will he ever know?
will i ever stop wondering?”